... Songs ... Can hit exactly how you feel

~Hey Guys, I heard this song last night and completely hits how I feel about Melissa except it hasnt been that long..haha.. But yah, Hope you enjoy~

Who You'd Be Today - Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Would you see the world, would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today.

Today, today, today
Today, today, today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again some day
Someday, someday...

Long time no post!

Well It's been a long time with no post! Well school is back in, im loving all my classes just not all the homework lol I have no slack classes this semester .. grr .. cant wait until next though .. slack city lol WEEEEEE!! haha anywhos ... Yah ... Goin to a youth conference in 3 days! Saaaaa-weeet! =D Hehe!haha! Anywhoos .. gonna go start at the homework! Luv y'all! =)

Venting...1 2 3...

Don't yah just hate the anonymous comments that have nothing to do with what you posted... I thought this was MY SPACE where I could put WHATEVER I WANTED. Not where people could advertise stupid things! I mean if I know you and you have a site that you would love to share fine, but i dont wanna know about some Jericho thing or timber sumthing rather or if your nose hairs are purple! Well that last one would be noted to something you need checked out but yah...I'm mad! So if whoever is doing it, reads this ... DONT DO IT ANYMORE YAH JERKS! Thank you, Have a nice Day :)

Who yah gonna call?! ... SPIDERDAN!

*sing to the music of GhostBusters*
"Who yah gonna call"....SPIDERDAN!

You heard it here 2nd or 3rd or maybe even last! Spiderdan is a man! Err I mean "the man"! Any-noodles! Since everyone else is making one of these I though I might as well do one too. Yes I cave to peer-pressure..! But back to the important stuff!

Theres not much you can put in words about this guy. If you want an honest, caring, and trustworthy friend -- this is your guy. Theres not many people I can tell everything to without things getting messed up a bit besides this guy. He'll love you unconditonally, he may get disappointed but don't we all sometimes. This guy will make you laugh, make you cry, make you happy, make you sad, but in the end it doesnt matter cuz in these times he's usually making a good point, giving a good lesson, or trying to beat something into your head!

Well I'm running out of things to put about Mr.Spiderdan because this summer has been a blur and the good times haven't been sticking out lately!

In closing I leave this note to him:
If it wasn't for you I dont know where I would be, I say this a lot but it's true. The messes I've been in, you've helped me through. In the end you know whats best, and you try to get us to tell the rest--That a life with Jesus is truely the best :)

Me and Jacob :)
(Thanks to Livi for making the pic :D )

Oh and I made a Quiz for you!

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Take my Quiz! and then

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Check out the Scoreboard!

She Will Be Loved

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

No title fits

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

So we enter into yet another horrible time in my life. I know everyone probably has bigger problems then me but hey, im not saying mines the biggest .. just that if I don't get this out then im going to explode.(which hopefully not to many people want)

Anyway, this is how it goes! I've been "going out" with my guy Jacob for over a week, prolly close to two weeks..I can't quite remember the day we made things "official" but yah. And then this past weekend I was hanging out and talking tp a friend of mine i dont get to see much and yatta yatta yatta. Well it came around time for him to go home cuz i was staying where we were and he wasn't(duh), we hugged then I left. Woopie doo. Well it came time to come home and all I wanted to do is come online and talk to Jacob...that was sunday. I still haven't seen him online yet. Well last night im like "ok, maybe he isnt allowed online" so i try calling..he isnt even home. Could he not take the few moments to send his stinkin girlfriend if he was going away for a few days! Grr...

Well Sunday night was interesting. I had this whole guilt trip going because I was out with other guys while he was prolly at home wishing I was there too. Yah well considering it sent me to tears and i havent even heard from him...GUILT TRIP GONE! UGH! I duno what to do...

Youth Activities Are Fun

Yupp yupp. Last night we went to the bucket club! WOOT! Things started off grand. We all headed to play either Basketball or Mini Golf or some of us headed straight for the pool. Then it started raining, I mean "WHAT RAIN?!" (Ask Dan that question lol), and still hung out then some people wimped out and left the pool ... what was the point of that i mean you were already wet! OH! We even got Janelle to go down the "pansy" slide!! (Another Dan comment) Go Janelle! :D Well it ended up being 4 of us being left in the pool ... and they shut down the water slides ... IT WAS ONLY RAINING! So yah .. us 4 hung out while the rest of the peoples were off getting free buckets of balls or doing whatever they were ... Then we eventually got out and went and hung out some more until Dan finally clued in that if we were any more wet (not possible for some people) then he would have to drive us all home in his own vehicles. So we went back to the church and waited for our drives and the other 2 vehicles of ours loaded with kids... that created some ACKness... but any chickens ... All in All it was fun .. Apparently my lips turned a nice shade of blue and purple at some points .. then becuase of a grape slushie my tongue turned black ... It was a funn night and we should totally do it again sometime Dan! if you're reading this ...

Hmm...

Well this past week was very interesting ... Starting talking to my amazing boy Jacob :)<3, came to the conclusion that this person that I can't seem to get over needs to take a hike. I've realized I deserve a lot more than all this pain he has put me through and although it's going to take some time, I AM GOING TO DO IT! Tears may fall, I may want to give in, but in the end I will be triumpth!! (dont quote me on the horrible spelling!)

(And for those of you that will know what I'm talking about) I got to like Stage 9 with this guy ... STAGE 9!!!! You know the very first one you were advised to keep for marriage... like ugh! this is like blah!! I wish I could go back and would of heard this series over 2 years ago!! Cuz that was only 1 off from 10, 2 off from 11, AND ONLY FRICKIN 3 OFF OF 12!! And that is my vent for tonight ... about that ...

Now back to Jacob :D lol He's an absolute sweetheart and I like him greatly to death!! Now hunn, if you're reading this, I know I say "Love you lots" but I cant be quite sure yet... we haven't even met .. lol! But thats going to change soon! I promise! :) But you know i like you greatly and I think you like me too ... but the flirting with Matt doesn't help!! And Lindsay! Grr on u :P lol anyway... lol Jacobs awesome and sweet and very caring ... hence his fling with Matt :P haha (biig insider) anyway... gonna end this now ... *END*

Why Can't I ... ?

Well ... that picture seems to be true about this one person. We've been through a lot together in the past but now we don't see a lot of each other anymore. A few years ago for a few years we were "together", as in bf/gf, and ever since we talk about hooking back up but it never happens...Now i havent seen him since last wednesday but i will tonight and BAH!

WHY CANT I JUST FORGET ABOUT HIM AND MOVE ON?!

Well MOO!

Well a little thing happened last night ... I realized I might like one of my bestfriend's ex-bf ... woot!! eh? NOT! Gah .... I dont know what to do :

Aweeeeeeesome July

Yupp the rest of July should be pretty frickin awesome! im away this upcoming weekend and then the last weekend of this month and then again the next weekend after that! WOOT! yay for busy schedules! Leaves less time for crappy stuff to happen! haha Anyway gonna go ... Later

Guys suck...

Yes that right ... guys suck ... all they do is make you believe they like you then they break your heart ... now this guy .. we'll call him Joe. I liked Joe, and we were getting along great and then yesterday he came online and called me all these names. Then he comes on again and claims it wasnt him, said he was sry and all this other stuff then he came on again and started calling me names again ... like WTF! I'm mad now ... and I duno what to do ... BAH!

WHY?!

Ok well as you all probably know, the last couple days have been a real bummer. While today was alright yesterday was the pits and I just want to fill all you cyber people in because I feel like venting and Dan isnt home or online! WELL:

Theres a guy named Barry. He was a part of a family I've traveled to church with for the past 3 years. 2 years ago he was diagnosed with Cancer. Over the past 2 years he took all his treatments and we thought he was going to beat it. Over the past 2 months, he was put in the hospital once for a couple days and then let out. The 2nd time in was his last though. He was there about a month and he finally let go yesterday.
Barry has a daughter, Lily. Lily, my lil sister, and me are like family. We're distant cousins down the line a way but we hung out a lot over the 2 years. We went to church together, youth group, VBS and then the past few months there was the pageant. We even went camping the same weekend together.

We are so close with this family that me and my sister are considered the adopted children who live in a different home. Yesterday after we found out, We tried to get people to keep it as quiet as we could so other people wouldnt constantly message her. Because this is what i think...SHE DONT WANT YOU TO BE SORRY FOR HER! She wants you to be there for her! No we don't know what it's like, and she probably wouldnt want us to know what it is like but come on! How many of us want ours friends to constantly tell you that they're sorry for you? I dont! I mean she'll hear that enough at the funeral for crying out loud! I love her to death, she's basically my little sister which makes this harder for me.

One little note to a certain someone who said that it seemed like I didn't care... NEWS FLASH! I couldn't do much because as much as i knew this was coming, I didnt believe it myself. Now that it has sunken in ... well the story says it all. I'm dont hate you ... I'm just exetremely ticked that you would say that after everything.

Something else happened yesterday ... I found out that one of my new friends is being charged by a guy he was in a fight with. I found out today that he has to go to court and if they find him guilty then he has to go to juvy for a few months ... That was hard. I found out that within an hour of finding out that last big thing. I was in like deep no mans land. Things were the worst of worst right then.

Well...all this is kinda really really crappy considering right before we got the phone call I was planning a day at the beach with that friend who is in trouble and another one....

That is my vent ... not much of a vent then a place to just get it all out ... or maybe that is a vent ... Anyway! Don't feel sorry for me but put your time after you leave a comment to use by praying for those people ... Lily and her mom and family, My friend and his stupid decision, and for everyone out there dealing with Cancer, the aftermath, going through the courts, the kids in juvy, their parents...or maybe just for yourself and your family ... Just pray ... even if just to thank god that you aren't me! Thank you.

Hmm...

Well it's been awhile since I've posted ... not like everyone just checks this daily! but anyway! The summer boringness has begun! Nothing on weekends or weekdays anymore ... just staying home all day doin notta! WOOHOO for nothing! Well...I'm gonna go work on my website...TTFN!

At last!

At last everything is over! Summer can begin! YEEES! No title in the pageant but oh well, the Dance was a blast! But yah ... not much i can put on here ... 'cept:

SCHOOOOLS OUT FOR SUMMER! :D

AHHHHHHHHH!

Yes I know this is a second post for one day ... who frickin cares anymore ... I am mad ... very very mad ... We all want to hurt soon to be FORMER Miss KV >:@ oi...well i have to go study ... yay for exams 8-) Later!

Well ... well ... well ...

Well tonight is the nigt! What night you may be asking yourself as you sit there at your computer in your PJs and eating Cocoa puffs, THE NIGHT! Still hasn't come to yah???? The big rehearsal for the pageant thats what! Eeeks ... Biiig thing. Another Stress blip is my escort cant make it cuz he doesnt have a stinkin way home ... booo on him! >: But 3 exams down and only 2 more to go! Whooie... I'm doing good ... only flunking one .. i think ... Well time to go waste the afternoon away! Tootles!

Well...

Another day in a row! SCORE! I'm on a roll ... possibly because I have nothing else to do these long afternoons but study... What happened to my meeting you may be asking yourself. Cancelled! Something came up, understandable! Things come up all the time, wouldn't be much of a church if they didn't so Thursday is the new re-scheduled time! yay for thursday! But until then ... 2 exams down, 3 to go! Flunked today's though. Stupid Math *angry face* Any-chickens, better go. Luv y'all! <3

1 down, 4 to go!

Yes, only one down. Not two! One! One stinkin exam! Oh well, it wasnt as hard as i thought it was going to be! But with the pageant coming up Friday night, practice 3 times this week, and a meeting with Dan(my youth leader)and his wonderful soon to be wife ... STREESSSSSSSSSSS VILLAGE my friends! but it's not like anyone is reading this anyway ... yay for useless blogs! with really long titles....hahahahahaha anyway, well... after this little vent im good. I'll write again tomorrow, Later!

So yah ... Exams ...

It's the day before Exams. Should be freak out time right? WRONG! I could not be anymore mellow! I haven't studied at all, MELLOW! I haven't been passing anything, MELLOW! I have pageant practice almost all week, MELLOW! You're noticing a pattern? Me too! lol So yah, One year of being baptized coming up. What a long year of being unfaithful to what I said I was promising to do :( But I'll get back to you later ... Gonna go start studying. <3later<3

WHOOOOOOOOOA!

WHOOIE! It's been awhile! A LOT has happened ... Eeks ... lol! Soul Decision Concert, 2 hour noons, the works yah know?! Those who know me know it all but those of you who dont ... SUCKERS! lmbo! Sorry I'm bored and feel like being mean ... So! It's almost June! It's amazing how surprisingly fast this year went ... It also sucks because it will be another school year gone by with no at school boyfriend ... or any boyfriend at all in that case ... 2 whole school years now ... Wow ... My life sucks ... LOL! But I have some lyrics for you!

Who knows what tomorrow will bring, all we have is today

Maybe this is the calm before the storm

Who can really say, who can really say

I want to be with you at the end of the world

And breathe my last breath in your arms

I want to be with you at the end of the world

And burn across the sky like two shooting stars

There's no place that I'd rather be

Then with you here today

maybe this is the dark before the dawn

Who can really say, who can really say

Wherever you are you're what I need

Wherever you are that's where I want to be

Isn't that song just lovely :'( It's "With You" By Billy Klippert ... because I've been listening to him constantly lately ... obessed i am! lol! Well time to head 'er to bed! Later!